Once we had Grace, I really didn't have too hard of a time going back to work. I am a people person and I missed being around grown-ups while I was home for maternity leave. But then I missed her all day every day while I was away from her. We got into a good routine, though, after several months and I'd say by the time she was 1 we were all functioning pretty well. We enjoyed our evenings and weekends together as a family and I also enjoyed getting ready with Grace in the mornings.
During this time, I had a job I loved that generally allowed me to work 8-5 and not have to think too much about work outside that time. It was a fulfilling job that allowed me to help disadvantaged students and I had great co-workers that were like my second family. For the most part, I didn't really doubt my decision to work (fully supported by Nathaniel) and enjoyed doing so.
Around the time Grace was almost 2, I got a new job. This job was much more demanding and had me working at all hours of the day, much more than I ever had before. Pretty soon after taking the job, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay there long. It was just too much stress! I was constantly exhausted and stressed and felt like I was missing out at home.
The desire to stay home with Grace became greater at this point. I think this was caused by a couple of things. First, obviously, the job situation was not great (although I enjoyed my co-workers and the work I did-- I just didn't enjoy how much I was working) which made me think about staying at home. Second, Grace had gotten to a really "fun" age. I really started to enjoy hanging out with her as a person. One perk of my job was that I stayed home on Mondays and worked from home a bit since I worked so much the rest of the week. Grace and I were able to do things together like we never had before. We'd go to the library every week, go shopping, bake together, make art projects, go to the park...all sorts of fun stay-at-home stuff that I didn't get to do while working full-time. I also really appreciated the extra day to go grocery shopping, clean, and do laundry which meant I didn't have to spend the weekend doing housework. I really, really loved Mondays!
At that point, I really wanted to be able to stay home. However, it was (is) not possible for us financially. We bought a house based on 2 incomes and always assumed we would both work. So, unless we sold our house, I had to work. We actually thought and talked about selling the house, but we wouldn't even get close to what we owe on it right now due to buying at the height of the marker.
Thankfully, God had something else planned. He brought me to a new job which I started just 2 weeks before Graham was born. It is a job that I really enjoy with people I am starting to really love as well. It is a job that allows me to use my strengths and make positive changes in the community around me. In this position, I work hard all day but then get to leave work at the office and go home and be fully present there. I really feel so blessed to have this job; God truly answered my prayers after about a year of praying for a new position!
Do I still have days I wish I could stay home? Yes! Of course! But I also enjoy my work and I know Grace learns so much at Montessori each day. I'm so thankful that I am able to do something I enjoy while helping to provide for the family.
3 comments:
Is your husband a basketball coach also? We are all in this together!!
I read Kelly's Korner every day too!
I posted my working mom story back in the summer and never linked up with Kelly's blog post, but it's always nice to read other stories. And very well said about working moms vs stay at home moms!
Post a Comment